Why Your Team Matters & The Bank of Mom and Dad

I’ve always seen my role as your real estate agent as being a “connector.” Buying a home is a huge financial milestone, but it’s just one piece of the puzzle. To get the rest of the pieces to fit, you need a solid team in your corner.

I’m lucky to have an incredible network of pros that I rely on personally, and Shawn Okumura from Transitions Wealth Advisors is at the top of that list. Shawn isn’t just a colleague; he’s my own investment advisor and a close friend.

I asked him if I could share his latest article on the blog because his advice is always spot-on and easy to digest. Whether you’re looking at your portfolio or just planning for the future, Shawn’s perspective is a game-changer.

The Cost of Keeping the Bank of Mom and Dad Open

Graduation season brings that mix of pride and relief along with way too many photos. Once the gown gets packed away, though, a massive financial shift hits most families without much warning.

The “Bank of Mom and Dad” Trap

What happens to the tuition money? If you’ve been paying for college, you’re suddenly looking at an extra $27,000 to $59,000 a year. That’s life-changing money, yet for most parents, it doesn’t land in retirement accounts. Instead, it slips quietly into the “Bank of Mom and Dad.”

Helping out here and there feels simple enough, but a 2025 Savings.com survey shows half of parents with adult kids still give regular support averaging $1,474 a month. Many working parents spend 2X as much on grown kids as on their own future. AARP data points out that 75% of parents over the age of 45 bankroll at least one adult child, though more than half of those kids could handle their own bills. Of those parents, approximately 42% feel the strain.

Creating an Off-Ramp

This happens not because you don’t love your kids, but because saying “no” gets tough without a plan. College help without a clear off-ramp turns into an ongoing subsidy of adult life. Graduation offers a reset; your kids already expect change, so lean into that.

Now comes time for the awkward talk about:

• Which bills shift to them.
• Whether they know how to sign up for a company 401(k) or health insurance.
• Where emergency help ends and “lifestyle subsidy” begins.

The Retirement Rebound

If you’re in your 50s or early 60s, this marks your window to redirect old tuition money into retirement before time slips away. For 2026, the IRS allows bigger contributions:

Note: The “Super Catch-up” is a specific provision thanks to SECURE 2.0.

Both you and your spouse working could mean a strong final push on retirement goals. It’s also the right moment to consider Roth conversions before Social Security starts.

How you support your kids remains a personal choice with no single right answer, yet you must ask yourself whether support happens on purpose or by default because the talk never came. Watching a graduation—or being a few years past—and wondering where the extra money went means it’s worth a chat. Being generous comes easier once your own future feels secure.